By RICH MACLONE
Every couple of Christmases I will dig into the past and make my father laugh while opening up his gifts. When I was a teenager he and I would crack up while listening to Eddie Murphy wax poetic about how fathers got the short end of the stick on Christmas morning. While the kids were opening up GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip, and Mom got sparkly baubles, Dad was left with Brut by Faberge or Old Spice.
For some reason, Dad historically gets short shrift on Jesus’s birthday. It’s not really fair, but as coach Belichick likes to say, “it is what it is.”
So, when we exchange gifts I will drop 10 bucks on a Brut gift pack and wrap it up for my pops. He probably never opens it, but he laughs every time. The gift is the giggle.
The key, though, is that isn’t the only thing I get for my dad. That would be cruel. I mean, this is the guy who told me how to talk to girls, lifted my spirits when I totaled my first car, and played a 50 percent role into bringing me into the world. That deserves something special.
And now I’m also a dad and I understand what it is to feel a little shortchanged on Christmas Day. We work all yearlong to try to afford things that will make our families happy. As the kids get older, those things cost more and more money, so that means there’s less left over for mom and dad to take care of each other.
No matter your budget, though, there are things out there that you can find for dear old dad that will put a smile on his face, no matter the budget. It just requires a little bit of thought.
I’ll even make it easier for you, and help get things started. And step one is an easy one. Before you buy the first thing to go under the tree, ask yourself a simple question: what is Dad into?
Yes, he works, and he can always use clothes for the job. If he’s a blue-collar guy, a great pair of boots, really warm socks, and top of the line work gloves are all viable options. He will appreciate that you got them for him, especially when he has to put in a long winter shift outside in the elements. If all else fails, that’s a good place to start.
If he’s more of the white-collar type, he probably has all of the clothes that he really needs. Another tie or set of socks is probably not going to set him up for the rest of the year. However, those are things you could acquire for him if they’re done with some flair. It comes back to what does he like? A boring power tie would work, but how about a tie with baseballs or footballs on it? Patterned socks with some style are also fun. At Christmas you need to step it up a notch, show that you were thinking of him as a person and not just as another gift that had to be purchased.
Even when done right, though, clothes aren’t going to get everyone excited. I know my closet is so full that I’m looking for excuses to give things to Goodwill. We need to think outside the box and find some fun for dad.
Maybe your old man likes to imbibe every now. This writer embraces his Irish side and loves a good stout. If your dad is anything like me, a craft brew with a great set of glasses will put a smile on his face. Again, the glasses are a place where you can add some personal flair. I’m a huge Star Wars fan. Last year I got a set of Star Wars pint glasses, and I love to throw down a nice dark Murphy’s stout inside the glass of the Dark Lord of the Sith. It’s the little things in life.
My best friend is a bourbon snob. There are plenty of guys out there just like him. If you don’t know how to purchase the right kind of liquid refreshment, it’s simple: go to a proprietor of fine liquors and ask someone there to help you out. Usually you can find someone who will point you in the right direction and give you some options as to what’s aged the correct amount of time, and will make the person sipping on the stuff feel all warm and happy.
Okay, so booze isn’t your dad’s bag. That’s all right, he probably likes gizmos. I haven’t met many fathers who don’t enjoy fiddling with cool new electronics.
Last year one of the coolest gifts that I got was a gizmo that I actually still use and that didn’t cost my kids very much money at all. On Black Friday they found a really little—and more importantly, loud—Bluetooth speaker that pairs perfectly with my phone. It’s perfect for when I’m grilling out on the deck, or playing board games with family and friends.
If you’re really into personalizing things, and want to make Dad smile for time to come, you can never go wrong with a well-executed portrait of the people who he loves the most. Get the kids together, have them make a sign that expresses how much they love the guy, grab a camera and take a couple of dozen shots until you find an image where everyone looks happy and is wearing a smile. Have it printed and pick up a nice little frame, and box it up. I guarantee you that dad will like that, and will smile every time he sees it, be it on the wall or at his work cubicle.
That’s the goal here, after all, making your father happy at Christmas. It’s not nearly as difficult as you think it might be, it just takes a little bit of planning, and some thought. He deserves that, doesn’t he?
Yes, he does.